Listening to my favorite morning Chicago radio jock, Steve Dahl, a couple days ago, I heard him joking about some online dating sites that featured people whining, complaining, and venting about their failed relationships in order to get some kind of closure.    

 

He mostly was criticizing the guys  for sounding woosie and acting like “girly-men” in complaining about how much they thought they had been misled or mistreated by their former girlfriends. He basically said that instead of whining about it, that guys should just go out and get laid as quickly as possible.

 

While I agree that hooking up with someone else as soon as possible is probably a good idea, and definitely could speed up your bounce back, a lot of guys just don’t feel they have that option. Lack of dating options is usually the reason many guys put up with bad behavior by women in the first place, and a big reason I started alphadater.com .

 

Absent any other current dating possibilities, after a bad breakup, many guys start displaying some their own bad and questionable behavior, which ranges from the truly pitiful and pathetic, to the much more ominous, scary, and violent.

 

We’re all different, and everyone, guys and gals, have their own way of getting over a breakup. The important thing is to get your closure in a positive manner and move on with your life as quickly as possible. Hanging on to old resentments, allowing a failed relationship to block you from moving forward, or trying to get the person back to the extreme of stalking them, is really not positive or emotionally healthy.

 

Dwelling on past resentments or hurt feelings keeps you from getting on with your life, and instead keeps you anchored in a negative world of anger and self-pity.

 

Another way people stay anchored in the past is by not letting go of a failed relationship. Instead of just accepting that the other person has decided they don’t want to continue the relationship, they keep trying to get the person to reconsider. There are a lot of books and products on the market about how to get your lover back. Though I’m sure these provide many sorts of useful tricks and tactics to use to worm your way back into your ex’s life, the long term prospects for broken relationships is usually not very favorable. 

 

Trying to revive a relationship that has failed in the past is also not something that usually works out well. People are who they are, and if a relationship didn’t work the first time around, it’s probably not going to work the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time around either. This holds true even if several years have past.

 

I’ve heard many stories about couples who dated in high school, college, or early 20’s, who grew apart, and then met years later. For awhile, the initial spark that created the attraction when they first met re-ignites, and everything is beautiful. But it usually doesn’t take long for the same issues and personality conflicts that ruined the first relationship to resurface, and undermine the 2nd relationship as well.

 

As I have said in other articles, there are 6 billion people on the planet. If it doesn’t work with one person, you have plenty of other people to choose from. Don’t let a breakup keep you from going out and meeting some of them.

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David Curtis is also the author of Get Women Like a Bad Boy Without Being a Jerk–This extremely empowering book is designed to teach you the Right Way, the Bad Boy Way, to confidently and easily approach women, get their contact info, and not only get a first date, but many more after that. 

 

Get the dating and relationship guidance and coaching you need to get all the women you want, or to just get that one girl you can’t seem to live without. Coaching rates and plans available for all financial situations.

 

For more dating and relationship advice, return to the  www.alphadater.com  home page. Good Luck and let me hear from you. David C 

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 5th, 2008 at 8:01 pm and is filed under alphadater, bad breakup, dating options, ex lover, failed relationship, former girlfriends, getting closure, getting over a breakup, online dating sites, past resentments, personality conflicts, questionable behavior. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.