Dating Women-Knowing When to Get Physical
When my wife and I recently attended a Santana concert here in the Chicago area, I found myself casually observing a couple that was standing in front of us (nobody at a Santana concert usually sits very much).
The woman, probably in her mid-20’s, was very attractive and had a really cute, sexy figure. The guy, on the other hand, was a rather ordinary looking guy, approximately mid-to-late 30’s, with a receding hairline and moderately large beer belly.
What was fascinating to observe over the course of the evening was the physical interaction between them. And it wasn’t what you may think.
While the girl was bouncing and dancing to the music and flirtatiously bumping into her male companion, he mostly stood stoically aloof with his hands behind his back.
The few times the guy did touch her, by placing his hand on her back for a moment while he was talking to her, she almost melted into him. But then he would go right back to keeping his hands folded behind his back, no matter how many times she initiated contact or touched him with her hand.
My initial impulse was to wonder what the heck this guy was thinking. Here was this hot, beautiful girl practically throwing herself at a guy that looks like he would have trouble getting lucky in a brothel, yet he totally resisted her advances. But the more he resisted her, the more this girl came on to him.
So what was going on here? And what was this guy thinking?
Was he intentionally trying to play “hard to get”? I seriously doubt it. Did he not like public displays of affections? Possibly, but who knows. Did he just not want to get involved with this girl despite the fact that looks-wise she appeared to be way out of his league? That’s possible, but not likely. Or was he just some clueless guy trying to be a gentleman? If wouldn’t be the first time a guy failed to act despite overwhelming “GO” signals from a woman.
So while we’ll never really know what this guy was actually thinking, the one thing we do know is that whatever he was doing it was working.
When I give dating advice to guys, much of which is in my ebook, “Get Women Like a Bad Boy Without Being a Jerk“, I try to tell them not to get to grabby too soon. Most women will have a negative reaction to this and will just assume the guy is only after sex(which he probably is).
Instead I tell them to tease women and give them a hard time early on, almost treating them like a bratty kid sister. Now you don’t do this in a mean-spirited or manipulative way. You do this in fun, flirty way that both challenges her and attracts her at the same time.
To that effect, using sexual innuendo is a tremendous tool to introduce sex into a relationship without it appearing as if you did so. In my ebook I tell guys how they can actually use sexual innuendo to accuse the woman of being the one who keeps bringing up sex.
Your ideal response when you tease her, or make use of sexual innuendos, is to have the girl laughing despite herself while punching you in the arm and telling you how bad you are. This way you are actually getting her to start the physical interaction without you laying a finger on her.
Now maybe you don’t think that a punch in the arm is your idea of getting physical, but that playful punch probably is a much more telling insight into how attracted a woman is to you then the obligatory good night kiss. That punch is an unplanned and involuntary response that comes from somewhere deep inside the woman’s psyche, very likely representing feelings that the woman herself may not even be aware of on the surface.
When this happens it most likely means you are stirring up feelings of attraction in her that are creating an impulse to get physical with you. The playful punch is just a way that she can express these feelings without doing something overtly sexual. The more you stir up these feelings, the more these physical impulses will start surfacing, until pretty soon they will become much more overt than covert.
The bottom line is that when you do this correctly you won’t need to guess when it’s time to get physical with a woman. She will let you know in a way that is undeniable.
Now I’m not sure exactly what the guy at the Santana concert did to stir these feelings in that girl. Most likely he doesn’t either. But the signals she was sending out that she wanted their relationship to get more physical were undeniable.
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm and is filed under alphadater, chicago area, dating women, flirtatiously bumping, flirting signals, gentleman, know when to get physical, overtly sexual, physical interaction, playful punch, public displays, sexual innuendo, sexy figure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 22nd, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I really like this idea, I think I might use it for the guys I am teaching. Thanks!