I recently received this email question.

 

David,

 

Regarding the C word, I haven’t met anyone too interested in talking about it.  Commitment is a dirty word in the world of 50-something daters (from my experience).  And I’m not talking about life-long or marriage.  I’m talking about “do you want to go on another date” commitment! I tend to exaggerate on that point a bit but not THAT much.  Men don’t want to get “stuck” in a committed relationship just in case something better comes along, even if it’s a one night stand.

 

MMM

 

Dear MMM,

 

Obviously this isn’t just a problem for over 50-year olds, but the older guys get, the more set in their ways they get as well. As a rule,  a guy doesn’t really want to give up his “freedom” and lifestyle if he doesn’t have too. If he can get what he needs from you without sacrificing anything, then who can blame him if that’s what he ends up doing.

 

To get a guy to want to commit, you have to make it seem like his idea. To do this, you have to at least act like you’re opposed to the idea of anything resembling commitment and fight him every step of the way. When you take this approach, not only does he feel like he’s won something when he gets you to consent to even just another date, but because he’s the one moving the action along he doesn’t feel like he’s going to be trapped.

 

When a guy feels pressure from a woman to commit to anything, he starts worrying he will have trouble escaping the relationship if either he finds something better, or just decides he wants his old single life back.

 

But if he is the one pushing for more, then he figures that if he wants to move on, the woman won’t try to stop him since she’s not as interested in the relationship as he is.

 

If you do this right, not only will your guy not be afraid of the C word, you may actually hear him use it in a complete sentence in regards to your relationship. At that point YOU get to decide whether this is the guy you want to settle in with, or if you just want to keep things light.

 

Please post your comments below.

David

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